I have to admit, I had never heard the name “Charlie Kirk” before last week. Even so, when I read the news that Charlie Kirk had been shot, I remember a wave of dread sweeping over me. As my facebook feed became inundated with posts about the details of his death, I was stunned. The news headlines over the past couple of weeks have been dark and full of tragedy. Yet this event in particular quickly found its way to the forefront of everyone’s minds and hearts.

In the days after Charlie Kirk’s passing, I held my daughter so much closer. I sat on the floor with her in her room, playing with blocks, laughing, and marveling over her pure joy and the ignorant innocence she has when it comes to the dark events unfolding around her. She is in a stage of life where she adores her Daddy. The first words out of her lips every day are “Where’d Dada go?” All I could think of on hearing those words was the son and daughter who no longer had their daddy in this world. All I wanted to do was hold my own baby close and shield her from everything.

What is the proper response to the fear and pain we feel when we hear news like this? How do we answer the question I voiced to my husband: Am I even right to want to be a mother in a world this broken? Should we really be bringing children into a time like this? Even the places that we feel should be safe, like the schools they walk into every day may not be secure anymore.

The Bible is full of verse after verse talking about the blessing and joy children bring. Psalm 127:3 says: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Matthew 18:2-5 says, “He [Jesus] called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'” Mark 10:13-16 says, “”People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.'”

Children are truly such a blessing and a joy!! I miss working with them so much at times. I loved my years as a pediatric nurse, and despite the joy of bringing new babies into this world, there is a part of me that misses my old job. I loved the funny interactions I’d have with my little patients, the sweet personalities that brightened my day, and the simple outlook with which they took in everything around them. Despite the joy my work brought me, it did also show me that even the smallest children were not immune from sin and suffering. Sickness, abuse, and trauma don’t spare even the the youngest among us.

The question is not whether our children will face pain in this world. They absolutely will. The question is: how will we equip our children to face pain and suffering with a firm reliance on the sovereignty of God and a confidence in His plans and purposes for their lives? What an incredible calling we have as mothers and fathers in planting the seeds that God will one day use to bring redemption to this fallen world! I was deeply comforted in reading Matthew 5 this morning. It reminded me that I am not raising Seoirse to shield her from hurt. I am raising her to stand out in the midst of that hurt and shine with a light that is not her own.

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. –Matthew 5:13-16

Are we finding ourselves to be “salty” to the world around us? Or are we merely blending in, trying to “lay low” and protect ourselves from the darkness around us? Even means of grace that God has given us (such as the church)! can be easily twisted into safe places where we freely share our faith and then keep it hidden in all other areas of our lives. Are we as quick to share the ways God has worked in our lives to our unbelieving coworker as we are a fellow mom at church?

I don’t agree with everything that Charlie Kirk believed. But I do recognize an act of wrongdoing when I see one. I had to back away from social media for a period of time because the cold comments disagreeing with his politics and even making a mockery of his death made me sick. How in the world have we gotten to a place where our culture can see a man who died peacefully sharing his beliefs and leaving behind a young, beautiful family and turn it into validation of its own opinions? How can we not see the pain of death and enter into the heartache of his wife and children? There are two simple words to describe Jesus’ response when faced with the ugly reality of the death of his friend: Jesus wept. He did not lecture. He did not preach. He simply wept. Sometimes tears are the only response we have to offer. Sometimes pain is too deep to be spoken.

One book of the Bible that has always had a special meaning for me is the book of Esther. In that whole book, God’s name is not mentioned one time. Yet it’s impossible to read Esther without being overwhelmed with the presence of God and His sovereignty over seemingly impossible tragedy for His people. When Esther is confronted by Mordecai and asked to intervene for her people, she is understandably filled with fear. There is a very high chance of her being killed by the king before any supplication can even leave her lips. Yet Mordecai tells her, “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” God placed Esther in that household, at that moment for such a time as this.

This is a thought that overwhelms me as a mother. My baby was created at exactly the moment God chose. Into the culture He placed her in. Into the home we live in. Into the church as it stands now. Into the world, full of joy, sadness, pain, doubt, love, anger, and fear. Into my arms, for such a time as this. He did not make a mistake by weaving together and perfectly orchestrating every moment of my daughter’s life. He is sovereign over everything, and His plans and purposes are so much greater than any I could imagine for her.

I am not saying by any means that we should throw our children to the wind and share with them every detail of sin and suffering that is going on. Their sweet, gentle innocence is something that should be guarded, protected, and cherished. There is a time and place for every hard conversation, and those are left up to the wisdom and discretion of us as their parents. Unfortunately, the innocence of some is shadowed at a much earlier age. We see this for Charlie Kirks’ wife, who has been forced to share that her children’s daddy is not coming back. I could only watch her talk through tears as she told her daughter that daddy is on a business trip with Jesus to “afford her blueberry budget.” What a treasure these children have in a mother who so completely trusts God in both giving and taking the life she had with her husband. She is determined that the witness her husband shared will not be overshadowed by the sin that took him so soon. The light of his witness to the truth of the Gospel continues to shine and should serve as a convicting inspiration to us all.

What a world we live in, but what a God we serve! We’ve already seen the ways God has worked even in the past couple of weeks to draw so many close to Himself. The only hope we have as wives, mothers, and Christians is realizing that we are not in control of what happens to our families. Our sovereign God Who promises to give every good thing to his children IS. That is a truth I can only cling to as I pray each and every day that God would work mightily in my life and in the life of any children God chooses to bless me with. This is the truth that enables Erika Kirk to tell her children confidently that their daddy is with Jesus, and they will see him again one day. What a reunion that will be! In the meantime, we can all hold fast to the blessed truth that we have all been created for such a time as this.

I [Jesus] have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. –John 16:33